I was kind of hoping to have something really wise to say about this milestone because... you know… turning forty is a bit of a big deal. As it turns out, I'm really not sure if I do have anything profound to say except that I am absolutely, totally and utterly, ecstatic about entering into this decade!
There seems to be a description I’ve been repeating to a few friends and family lately and that is this…
…I spent my 20’s running from myself, I spent my 30’s discovering myself, and now in my 40’s, I know myself and I fully intend to celebrate myself.
It feels extraordinarily liberating to finally know who I am and even more, to like who I am. I’ve been slowly unearthing these truths throughout my thirties but it was not until I stared fear in the face last year and stripped myself bare through grief that I really dug into those depths. I am entering into 2016 not only with the freshness of a brand new year, but also with my personal turning toward a whole new decade. My forties! There’s some big significance there, I think. Right now I have a new beginning in so many ways and quite possibly for the first time in my life, I know where I’m going and I’ve got a pretty good idea about how I’m going to get there. I'll always leave room for new experiences and adventure but effectively my path is going towards a direction I’m excited about. It’s the one I’ve chosen and each and every part of my forty years so far have led me to this place within it. When I reflect and look back at my road-to-date, there are many wacky choices that cause me to boggle and then there are the BIG things I have overcome where I feel like giving myself an almighty high-five. There has also been abundant blessings and dreams fulfilled. Throughout it all, are the undeniable connections where serendipity has woven each part and it leaves me marvelling at the way the Universe works. I love it, Life is such a thrilling ride!
I’ve had four decades so far and they have been filled to the brim with adventure. Those years are FULL of colour and experience, each one shaping who I am now. I am the kind of person who thinks about stuff, I am always wanting to learn, to build and to improve upon myself. When something doesn’t sit well with me or if life isn’t feeling “right”, I change it up. I generally am not one to sit in misery and complain about my situation. I’m proactive and pretty comfortable with making random, seemingly out-of-the-blue decisions. That’s from the outside perspective, but within me that possibility has been lingering, waiting for the opportunity and alignment to happen. Once I make a decision, I go for it! I have taken risks but they’ve never usually been reckless, I’ve always known that if “the sh*t hit the fan” I have a solid foundation to fall upon. Not only that, but an incredibly loving and supportive family who always rally together. Since the passing of my Dad when I was a kid, we became a band of five women (Sue and her girls) - those other four women are my safety net.
So that was my first forty years and I feel so grateful for all that I have experienced and learned with each one of them. I can’t wait to find out what my next forty will hold. Bring it on, I say. I love being best friends with myself and it’s only just now that I am starting to completely embrace all that I am. I feel like I'm only just beginning and each day is there to be lived and enjoyed. Sure there will be some crappy days, who doesn’t have crappy days? The difference is those crappy days won’t pull me down or steer me off course. They will be there to remind me to step back and breathe, and for that I'm always grateful. As for all the good days… well who knows, but I sure am excited to find out!